My heart broke a couple of weeks ago for a group of people that I care deeply about. From a distance, I learned that a congregation in NC that has meant a lot to me had lost their pastor. It makes me sad, because (counting interims) this was the fourth pastor to come and leave this congregation since I resigned in 2011 after serving ten years before coming to Powhatan. I’m sad for that congregation, because they desire deeply a pastor who will come and stay for a long time.
I’m sad for congregations who can’t keep a pastor very long, and I’m also sad for pastors who don’t see the value or have the opportunity of staying in one place longer than the 3.5 year national average. This average of pastor’s tenure in one place varies by different studies, but the longest number I’ve read recently is around 6 years.
I understand that pastors leave congregations for different reasons, including conflict, decline, too low pay, etc. There are many good, sincere, and healthy reasons to move even when there are no difficulties in a current place of call. And there are not many pastors who serve one single congregation through their entire vocational life. All of these are understandable. There are also some pastors who, unfortunately, see their “career” as a series of steps, each one taking them to the next “biggest steeple” with the perceived status that accompanies it. This bothers me.
My first Sunday at May Memorial was September 11, 2011, which means I have finished thirteen years as the pastor of this wonderful congregation. When we came, it was said in a light-hearted way that “all of your kids better graduate from Powhatan High School,” meaning that the church wanted someone who would stay for a longer tenure. There have been some difficult days when some (including myself) would have wanted my tenure to not last any longer at May Memorial, but thirteen years in I am still grateful for coming to May Memorial and I am grateful that I have stayed. In staying, I have learned things that a 3.5 year tenure would have never taught me. Here’s a few:
First, it takes a long time to build trust. The former head of Lifeway, Thom Rainer, says that “acceptance, trust, and stability” happens in a pastor’s tenure between years 4 and 7. It takes a while. And when pastors move every 3.5 to 6 years, that level of trust never comes.
Second, I know from experience that there is a different level of love and affection a pastor has for a congregation after a longer tenure. I love our church family more now than I did at year four. I know you, I know your stories, I remember the things that have brought you joy and I remember your hardest days. I remember when you children got married, and I remember your spouses who are now with the Lord. And this long relationship has given me a great love and affection for you. This, to me, is the greatest blessing that comes from staying.
Third, as a dad, I wanted my children to not experience several moves throughout their school career. Beverley and I agreed with the statement, “we expect your kids to graduate from Powhatan High School.” This has value for pastor’s children, and a pastor who moves every 3.5 years takes this away from his children.
Fourth, I understand that churches have ups and downs, but if we are faithful, we will remain fruitful. May Memorial is a faithful church, made up of mature Christians, and while we may not see a year of one hundred new members, we do see that our church is fruitful.
Fifth, I understand the importance of stability in a church. There are some people who like to walk into worship and be surprised at every turn. Everything be new and different from the week before. But I also know that the stability of faithful and traditional worship brings comfort, reassurance, hope, and peace. For many of us, God speaks through familiar rhythms and patterns that are time-tested and faithful to good traditions. (But I do like the unexpected from time to time). Longevity, when it is healthy, creates a sense of stability in any organization, and churches are no exception.
One of the questions I have been asking myself and others over the past six months is how does a pastor sustain energy after many years in one place? I ask this question because I don’t want to be one of the pastors who stay twenty years but had their last good idea at year eight. I’ve gotten some good insight when I’ve asked that question, but for some reason that I can’t exactly identify, I feel now as if I have as much (or more) energy, love, hope, and affection for May Memorial as I ever have. I am excited about what God is doing at May Memorial, and I am glad that it has been the place that I have spent the largest part of my vocational life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything or any other place. Powhatan has been a great place for Beverley and me to raise our girls, and I am grateful that thirteen years ago this became our home.
One of my best friends back in North Carolina would say it often, “this world is full of good starters, what is needed is good finishers.” He was a recovering alcoholic and addict, had been clean and sober for many years, and when he made that statement he most often was talking about how many people start the path to recovery but fail to find lasting, long-term sobriety. He intended to be not just a good starter, but a good finisher as well. In my life as a husband, father, and pastor, I want to be a good finisher. I’ve learned there is great value to not giving up, even when there is a tough day, or week, or month. Longevity holds many blessings, and not walking away from commitments is good and honorable. I’m grateful for these thirteen years, what I’ve learned, and who I have been blessed to spend them with.